Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I...am blessed?

I am blessed…and I don’t understand it. Tremendously blessed. Unbelievably blessed. Remarkably blessed. Disturbingly blessed. Sickeningly blessed. Do I deserve it? The question makes me ill for I know the answer. Not in the slightest. Not in the least. I am broken. I am pained. I am sinful. I am strained. I am prideful. I am lustful. I am greedy. I am stingy. I am boastful. I am weak. I am stubborn, and yet….I am blessed.

Why?! How can this be? It must be mistaken. It has to be blessings misplaced. Despite what I’m told, it can’t be just grace. I have children, a wife. I have cars and a home. I have a job, friends, and success in tough times. When others struggle, I await a bonus. When others worry about losing everything, I complain about my extra car having trouble. I see businesses closing and yet I can sell. I see children unhealthy and marriages fail. Mine thrive. Every day I wait in anticipation for a realization of this grave mistake. It can’t be meant for me. When will it end? When will the charade be over and the laughter at my expense begin. I prepare myself for the correction.

If these blessings are indeed meant for me, well that’s a whole other problem. How do you expect me to handle such gifts!? I don’t deserve it! I am broken! I am pained! I am sinful! I am strained! I am prideful! I am lustful! I am greedy! I am stingy! I am boastful! I am weak! I am stubborn! I am…Forgiven. I am Thankful. I am Blessed.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Long time no blog.

Well, it's been a LONG time since I've written a blog. I could blame my schedule, or something else, but admittedly, I've just been blogthargic. Just a few updates, work is crazy, crazy busy, which is AWESOME! Things are going well there. Our family has been sick over the entire Thanksgiving holiday. Joel even ran 104.7 at one point and had to go to urgent care. Our van broke down again, which could be a blog in itself. Let's just leave it at, it's a Ford (backwards it spells Driver Returns On Foot) and we're just about done with it. It's only saving grace might be that we got bad gas, but if it's something else, like a fuel pump, well then this will give you an idea of my intentions.

The boys are doing great overall. Gabe is still doing well in school and Noah is a great big brother to Joel who refers to him as Wowah. Noah has continued to amaze us with his wit and humor. They are far ahead of his age. He visited his Nana recently by himself (first time any of them have stayed away for a weekend) and he was in the car with Nana waiting on one of his cousins, Samuel to get something out of the house. Samuel, who is at the clumsy stage, goes to enter the house and smacks himself in the face with the door. Noah doesn't miss a beat, busts out laughing and says, "Nana, did you see what Samuel just did...he went BAM and hit himself in the head with the door." as he continues to laugh out loud. Samuel even stopped crying because Noah was making everybody laugh, including him. Then, the other night, we were all at the dinner table and Kelly told Noah, who was refusing to stay seated, "Noah, stop getting up, you haven't touched your food!" Noah, then sits down...puts his index finger on top of his chicken and says, "I'm touching it Mommy." and laughs. Yes, he's a little punk.

Other big news, Kelly turns 30 on December 13th!! We are planning a party for her on the 12th. Fondue fun! The 13th is also a big event that I encourage anyone with small kids to come too. It's Movies in the Park at Tekesta park. Classic Christmas cartoons played on big screens outside with free hot chocolate and cookies for all!! It's pretty cool. So, I'm planning Kelly's party and that event. It's a busy, but fun, fun month!