Thursday, August 30, 2007

Action!!

My friend Christopher and I have had this conversation before. But, lately I've really been thinking about my frustrations in life and most of them are in some way related to an inability, unwillingness, or refusal to take action. That isn't new. We all get frustrated when we want to act and can't, don't, won't. What has got me blogging about this, is that I just recently (in a moment of inactivity, mind you) started thinking about the fact that I am just as aggitated at constant preparation for action. Some would say preparation represents a series of important actions taken to lead up to a bigger action. I say that preparation, in many cases, is a stall tactic or a way to waste time until action is needed. I hate talking about acting and thinking about acting and studying how to act and deciding when to act. And, in the middle of my action (when it happens) I don't like to stop to talk about how it's going and what should change and why and when. Just let me get something done! That is a weakness, perhaps. Great leaders will tell you that a key of leadership is the willingness to read, study and prepare yourself on a regular basis and to evaluate your actions. I hate that. I don't want to talk about it, especially while I'm in the middle of trying to execute the action. I guess this all stems from my current position in a "start-up." I feel like there is soooooo much planning that goes into everything and then a lot of talking about the planning and a lot of planning about the talking about the planning and then, maybe acting, then talking about the acting and planning for reacting. And thus, you have seen my worst fear. A cycle of insanity. Solution: We need to win a contract.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Life Is But A Dream


Recently, I taught Gabriel how to sing a round of Row, Row, Row Your Boat . He's pretty good at it. I was surprised at how easily he picked up the round part. He amazes me. He is now going to school. Well, preschool anyway. I know it's old hat for our parents and others. We always hear, "they grow up fast." Yet, just like most things in life (like "Don't touch that it's hot!" or "Brakes don't work on wet roads at high speed.") you have to experience it, before you get it. That's where we are now, as parents. Gabriel is growing up and I am experiencing the speed in which that happens. I know most of my friends are going through the exact same stage of parenting. We're watching all of our oldest children become more independent and self-sufficient. We are having serious conversations with them that don't revolve around PBS characters or silly stories. We are answering real-life questions and I'm amazed at the desire and drive they have to gain knowledge. Sometimes, Gabriel asks me to sit with him and just tell him about something. Seriously! He just says, "Daddy...will you tell me more about something?" And I'll ask, "What would you like to know about?" And he'll say, "Tell me about the people who don't have toys." or "Tell me about Jesus. When do we get to go to heaven? How did Jesus come back to life?" "Tell me about (insert any subject)." No kidding! I'm struck by this. These aren't light subjects and he isn't just trying to avoid going to bed. Well, sometimes that's the reason, but mostly he truly wants to know what we have to tell him. He listens intently and asks questions about my answers to questions. He has also been very focused on Joel, our newest addition. He is proving to be a wonderful big brother. He is loving and wants to hold him and care for him as much as he can. I've already seen Gabriel grow up a lot, since Joel's birth. He is more loving to Noah and has really assumed the Big Brother role very well and seems to take great pride in it. Another sign of his growing up too fast, and the scariest one, is that when asked why he plays with a particular girl in school, his response is "because she's pretty and has pretty hair." WHOA! Too early to deal with that, so I'm leaving it there. Gabriel will be five in October. Part of me says, "he's only five" while the other says, "he's already FIVE!!!??" He is so young, yet now is when he'll learn the most...and what he learns will impact him most. I just take refuge in the fact that after I insufficiently answer one of his "how does the world work" questions, he and I still have time to sing a round of Row, Row, Row Your Boat and pretend that "life is but a dream" for a little while longer.